futures

i have left three different classes 

and a thousand possible futures 

because to be trans is to disrupt, and some people prefer quiet group chats and talking about nothing some might call that anarchy taken to an unreasonable extent; i call it surrender 

i have been ordered to tone it down 

by the forever-repressed, assimilated 

by the kind of straight people who pass off every instance of bigotry as a generational gap by faces without names, blurs of strongly worded emails and pitying stares: 

and when you look at me like 

i deserve to exist and transition, 

i have never felt more futureless 

nor have i ever craved to be smaller, quieter one of the good ones: because this is not just my queerness that makes me annoying: it is ours.

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mk zariel (it/they) is a transmasculine lesbian anarchist. influenced by the Queers Bash Back tendency, it hosts the podcast THE CHILD AND ITS ENEMIES (about being in high school and organizing), writes for the Anarchist Review of Books, and writes the blog DEBATE ME BRO (a y2k style advice column about anarchy-101 stuff). it organizes trans liberationist spaces across the great lakes region, performs poetry and theater, does graphic design, and vibes to classic queercore. find out more about its organizing and art here: https://linktr.ee/mkzariel